Perspective is important.
Last night, I got upset about some things that have been stressing me out a lot lately, and I told someone about them. She said I was being difficult. That didn’t make me feel better but talking to her did. This morning I woke up and had a very interesting realization: she was right. I lost track of whats important, and this morning I felt very ashamed of myself.
I’ve done a lot this summer, and I’m proud and glad I had those experiences. I just hoped maybe I had finally turned the corner and realized what really matters in life. I’ve always been such an anxious person. I hate it. It hurts the people who care most about me and it ruins my relationships. I don’t know what it is. I’m frustrated. I need something to make me remember what’s important when things get tough. I have everything I need. I have friends; I have a girlfriend who I love very much; I’m attending an excellent university. Who am I to complain? I mean, really, how hard does my life realy get? I guess I just need someone to slap me every now and again when I get like last night, just to remember whats important. To keep things in perspective.
Next time I’m feeling that way, I’m going to sit down and write out all the things I have to be thankful for. Write down all the opportunities I have and all the things that matter to me. Realize how lucky I am. Then, everything else will float away, because I have everything I need. Everything else will just fall into place. It’ll all be ok, I just need to keep perspective.
I guess I’m just frustrated because I thought I had turned the corner. I thought I had made myself a better person, but I guess I haven’t. I thought I learned, but I’m still just a silly stupid little boy. I don’t like that part of myself, and I’m determined to fix it.
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